Recently my husband, Rob & I started playing tennis again. I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed playing. In fact, I think I’m a much better player now than when I was in high school. My biggest challenge is remembering that I’m not 16 anymore and not overdoing it! Haha!
One of our last outings Rob made a comment about how he couldn’t believe how difficult it was for him to focus on the ball. I laughed yet, at that moment, I realized I wasn’t focusing on the ball either. In fact, I wasn’t quite sure what I was focusing on. Immediately I made an intention to focus ONLY on the ball and, guess what? My swings were more complete and the ball hit the racket every time (the ball didn’t always go over the net yet it hit the racket every time).
Funny, isn’t it? I’m playing tennis. I mean, come on, what else should I be focusing on if not that silly little ball? Why is it so hard to focus on the ball? And, why is it so easy for my mind and attention to get shifted to something else? How does that happen? Why is it so difficult to control?
It’s just like life (at least for me). I have good intentions about sticking to my schedule for the day and, just like that, my attention gets shifted to a phone call, email or something else that I allow to distract me and before I know it, it’s the end of the day and I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. Where did the time go? What did I do all day? And then the day turns into days and the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months and the months turn into years and then you look up and wonder what’s happened? WHERE DID THE TIME GO?
I think this happens to more of us than we’d care to admit. It’s brought me back to the question I shared with you months ago. A question that scared me because it forces me to introspect and go places that I’ve come to realize I’m afraid to go. The question of: Is this what I wanted my life to look like? It reminds me of Marianne Williamson’s infamous quote about fear:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are weak. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world … As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
My intention now (yes, I’m professing this to ALL of you and give you permission to keep me accountable) is that I take the time and the effort to do the introspection, ask myself the hard questions and face the fears that I have allowed to limit me all of these years.
It’s time for me to discover and untap the power within me. I’m scared yet, I’m more afraid of continuing to live life beneath my potential. That is my motivation. If you’d like to join me on this journey, I’d welcome the company.
A child of God,